Good intentions don't automatically make good managers.

"You are ruining my life!"

Those words from my first direct report hit me like a freight truck.

I stood there frozen, mind racing:

Me?

The guy who gave up professional opportunities in France?

Who moved to rural India to save newborn lives?

Who regularly donated to charities?

How could I be the villain in someone's story?

But that's exactly what I had become.

See, I was doing what most first-time managers do:

Leading others exactly how I wanted to be led.

Following the golden rule too literally: "Treat others as you want to be treated."

The cost?

- A demoralized team member

- A shattered confidence in my leadership

- My first management role failed

The turning point came years later:

I realized leadership isn't about managing people how YOU want to be led.

It's about understanding how THEY need to be led.

Now, before implementing any management approach, I ask:

What drives this specific person?

How do they prefer to receive feedback?

What support do they actually need?

The result?

Teams that feel truly seen and supported, not just managed.

Here's what I wish I'd known earlier:

Good intentions don't automatically make good managers.

Sometimes they can blind us to what our team actually needs.

Have you ever had a wake-up call that transformed your leadership style?